What my Tinder experience taught me about this hypocritical world.

In this patriarchal society going out on casual dates or hook ups is an experience I could never imagine. Guys thought my profile on social dating apps was fake because when they asked me

“Let’s catch up for a coffee?”

I replied, ” Let’s have sex?”

and I wondered why are they so curious about my experiences of hook ups ?  Why’d they think it’s not usual? I mean most of the men prefer random hook ups, then is it a sin for a female to go out searching for the same.

I never wanted to know how many random dates have the guys been to. Why did they always want to know about my experience?

I finally decided to write it down for those people (not only men) who wanted to know what it is like to go out for random hook ups.

I had one question for all of them- “why do you think a girl going out on a random date just for sex is rare?”

And it is surprising that I got answers like “because you are a girl, it’s not safe”. I know you care about us but, seriously?? This is what came to my mind after listening to such answers. I don’t mean to insult anyone here, but since this is my decision I am solely responsible for everything I do (if you are really that concerned about me).

Once a guy told me on a hook up date- “you are cooler than guys”.

To him my reply is-

I’m not cool. I do what I want, not caring about what people think of me as a female. What I am trying to say here is don’t you think we all are equal? We are humans (I know some men have ego issues and they think such girls overshadow them). Does gender really matter? And I know some men might have experienced the same situations with the girls.

Time has changed a lot. Everyone wants to be independent because we want to live by our own rules. We want to make money, have amazing sex, go on wild adventures, get drunk, buy fancy cars and make our lives a story everyone wants to hear.

But there are some boundaries we set for ourselves because that is what we have been taught since our childhood aka cultural conditioning, like girls should not go out at night wearing short clothes (please don’t think you are not one of those people because you are a hypocrite for you will always ask your girlfriends or sisters or your female friends not wear short clothes at night if they are going alone),girls should not have sex before marriage, girls should not abuse or talk loud etc.

We are taught all this, yes! Even men are taught such things and when some people don’t conform to such boundaries what are they referred to as? Some really beautiful words like “spoiled brat”, “whore”, “prostitute”, “Casanova”, “womanizer” etc and the best suggestion I ever got was from a girl itself- “you should start taking money “. WOW!

So I should expect something in return like “money”? Why is money always important? When all I expect is pleasure in return?

To all those people who think a girl who is independent and wants to live by her own rules is a whore, they should know that she is free (who doesn’t need your approval), she loves making love (can be anyone or anything), she is not a part of a society which makes rules for other people and she minds her own business. Some of you may just show this article to your friends to inspire them but later bitch about the same kind of girls at the same time.

Stop being a hypocrite! And support (or atleast leave those people alone) those who want to live by their own rules.

And to men who are as direct as I am, let’s get laid!! (Just joking)

Cheers & have safe sex!

P.S Going out on random hook ups dates is really awesome because you don’t have to deal with his everyday shit! Ha!

– Pragya Nautiyal

Edited by Mrinaal Datt

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